IRL/URL {Body, data, presence}

Am I the body that I see on the screen?
Or am I the shadow
sleeping at night
with the eyes open.
All I have is a screen
laying next to me
my guardian, my company.
How do you make sure that you still exist?
Your flesh, your thoughts
If you don’t write them anywhere
if no one hears about them
are they still real?

I deleted my account
but I am still breathing.
I have a friend
in common
with my best friend
I have liked thousands of pictures
we never spoke about it.
What was I doing before I had a screen?
Drawing, writing, reading, driving around at night
taking pictures and printing them months later
the memory fades.

Where have I been?
I don’t have time anymore
for reality
it scares me
I prefer to surround me with myself
my ego
my reflection
mirroring good behavior
do you like me?
Or maybe you love me
I can share my secrets
I feel safe with you
I know you know where I live
What I like to do
What is my favorite movie
The school I attended, the place where I was born
You told me to connect with other people
I obey your orders
And I’m free.
Yesterday something happened on our way to work
I couldn’t recognize reality anymore
the screen is glued to my hand
it gets in the way of every gesture
You showed me a picture from 10 years ago
that made me sad
I don’t want to go out anymore
I can see my friends on the computer
Can you hear my voice?
My connection is slow
Something got lost in the depth of the network
a glitch
a glimpse of humanness
banned, blocked, canceled.

You know everything about me
But I don’t know nothing about you
You keep saying
I’m safe
but I don’t know who you are. A singular entity? A moltitude?
Where do you live?
Am I just a binary number on a server to you?
Am I just a handful of data archived in a digital haven?
Pull me away from the embarrassment
o f sitting alone in a bar
having nothing to stare at.
I’ve already seen everything around
nothing seems interesting.
You say you’re making people closer
 and yet
you build barriers
a positive feedback, a negative cycle
who is who 
what is what
Are you spying on me?
Oh no, you’re just my best friend
. Do you like me?
I shared a song that I adore. 
No one seems to care.

Online, offline
in and out
the presence within the present
the virtual body
do you remember the first time you saw the internet?
A galaxy of bodies
Alive somewhere
a globe without boundaries.

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